"Let's do an ad with vampires in it, it will sell. Let's adapt that novel about vampires into a really cool film that everyone will have cool hair and eyeliners."
Vampires are supposed to be cult figures. Yes they are likeable to everyone because they represent a free spirit (or in our case below a bitch to rock), but they are always the dirtiest of demons. Except the shit demon from Dogma that is.
And we get to "Suck". Suck, I consider a cult movie for a few sequences that could make a laugh in an audience, but nothing more. It's brainless, predictable and yet you can make a drinking game out of it.
The plot of suck is this: The female band player of the band, Jennifer is seduced by a vampire (with a very weird "crazy eyes" look as Barney Stinson would say and is turned into a vampire. This chick also happens to have:
a. Played vampires before (in Helsing for example)
b. Been the main Bass player's ex-girlfriend (which his present girlfriend is Nicole DeBoer from ST:DS9, Haven and The Dead Zone).
After that, she is discovering her gifts and also tries to embrace some of the band members. On the other hand though, there is Hellsing-something played by Malcolm McDowell, reminding us that even in the shittiest scripts, Malcolm can become a gem. So now, the band is becoming a great success but with what cost?
Yes, "SUCK" has practically around 2-10 spoofs. Starting with "fright night", pouring in some Anne Rice, shaking it with "Rockstar" and blending it with "Dracula". Also playing is Iggy Pop and Alice Cooper. Now don't get me asking why? but let's just leave them. They add flavor. Definitely a cult movie.
Aaaand where does our crap-o-meter stands? Well it's not Highlander the Source, which is a movie that should be buried into the depths of hell, then cemented and then clone the devil to have it guard it just in case devil or the antichrist dies unexpectedly in Detroit. But it's a low number. So let's just say 1.5/5 for the flavor.
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